On Sunday, I made some pancakes. They didn’t turn out so hot. There they sat on my plate, two of the saddest, little pancakes I’d ever done seen. I mean, look at these things. The mere sight of them is enough to send some people into a semi-permanent state of catatonic depression.
Needless to say, something had to be done. There was just no way I was going to eat them like this and mere maple syrup wasn’t going to cut it. I had to find something else. Something creative. Something unprecedented. Something that no one else has ever attempted.
Fortunately, I had just picked up a pack of Cadbury Creme Eggs at a local import shop here in Leiden. I immediately broke one open and smeared the yolk/goo/whatever it’s called on the pancakes. Suddenly, the sun came out. Fluffy pink rabbits, fluffy pink clouds and fluffy pink rainbows flooded into the room.
While they may not look all that tasty, I assure you that, for the 47 seconds it took me to eat these pancakes, the world around me was perfect. I saw colors that don’t exist in this dimension. I experienced emotions 100 times greater than love and 10,000 greater than fond. So should you find yourself with a surplus of Cadbury Creme Eggs after Easter Sunday, I suggest giving this a go.
But this experiment also got me to thinking: what else could be done with surplus creme eggs?
The following evening, I attempted a series of not at all scientific-type culinary experiments that yielded mixed results. I cracked open two more eggs and scooped their contents into a bowl. If you’ve never taken the time to cut open a Cadbury Creme Egg, this is what their gooey insides look like. It actually resembles a real egg yolk. Someone at Cadbury, during the development of these beloved holiday treats in the early 1920s must have said, “No, we need to make it look like real egg yolk. People are going to notice. That is key detail in our new product that will make it a success, I assure you.” Ain’t that somethin’?
Experiment # 1: Goo on a Cadbury Creme Egg
HYPOTHESIS: If there’s one thing that can improve a Cadbury Creme Egg, it’s more “creme.”
ANALYSIS: The additional goo, while pleasant, did little to improve the overall experience of consuming a creme egg. If anything, it only served as a messy distraction.
Experiment # 2: Goo in Coffee
HYPOTHESIS: Can Cadbury creme double as creamer?
ANALYSIS: Following the failure of Experiment # 1, I figured that the addition of a plush bunny into the mix might, somehow, lend further credence to the proceedings and/or at least make these snapshots 10 – 17% more interesting. Yes, indeed, this rabbit was purchased at a travelling production of Monty Python’s Spamalot. Anyway, the goo gave the coffee a weird, earthy flavor, as if it magically turned into mud after entering the cup. Not at all what I was expecting. It also didn’t mix very well.
Experiment # 3: Goo on French Fries
HYPOTHESIS: Against all the odds, milkshakes, vinegar and mayonnaise (well, Dutch “mayonnaise”) all taste great with fries. This makes absolutely no sense but there’s just no arguing with this. Condiment-related facts are condiment-related facts. So why not Cadbury goo?
ANALYSIS: Success! The goo served as an unusual but tasty additive. It nicely complimented the fries. Believe it or not, I would do this again.
Experiment # 4: The Cadbury Quesadilla
HYPOTHESIS: Quesedillas are good. Cadbury Creme Eggs are good. Therefore, they should be good together, no?
CONCLUSION: Let us never speak of this again.